Hit the streets with synthesizers buzzing in your ears. Drum breaks as heart beats or some other cliche nonsense. Were the parallels already there or are you making them up? The answer doesn't matter nearly as much as the decision. Will you keep walking between the lines or will you break from the plane? Servitude or serpentine? Let's be honest. We know the ending. You keep writing metaphors in lockstep. Words alone have never killed fate. And you can do yourself in on paper a million times without using enough lead to cover your grave. Paper phoenix. Origami king. Keep writing your myths. keep walking forward. You almost made something You almost- Stop. Just stop. They're not even listening yet.

They know the name, now what? Listen real close and you can pick up on the sound of An uncrowned chump trying to outrun his beasts but they found him Unmitigated mess from the ground up Woke the last six months grinding teeth Last 36 months trying to grind on beats But it's been blank pages, safe wages, dyin to leave Hears faint praises, fakes basics, minds his grief As he stays faceless, stray gazes, folds his arms into His late days and stays jaded, pokes his scar tissue Last 36 months every spoken bar's misused On woe is me nonsense, broken heart issues Take a breath Apt, take a step back Overworked muscle, no need to go and flex that They won't respect that self set death trap Stop with the emoting and try to make some necks snap Nah, let's reminisce and see what we can get from this Back to when I first became my worst nemesis Picture this, nothing more than some rap fan Carrying a pen and a notebook and a disc man Rapping to himself, mumbled solo shower show Lyrics on a livejournal, spiral bound solid gold Locked up in the college rule, just another college fool Scrawlin out his sweat and tears like Sean had shown him how to do Call it pure, call it simple, call it nonsense Call it what you want, I'ma call it what I'm on next Call it prolonged stress, call down the bombast Every time I speak now I'm calling in a bomb threat Call it savage and rage, call it the scam of the age Donnie's not here, call me Alice in chains Whether scratchin in a page or standing on stage It's the best way I've found to try to manage the pain Just some wanna be Mikey some wanna be Grieves Damn, I'm just tryinta get the panic to ease First one to parrot no kings and grab to reach For some made up crown, yeah the fallacy's deep Lesson number one, got no lesson to teach I'll take this whole mess and I'll press it in speech Might be a self serving way to stay on my feet But I'll dive back into that quicksand and prey for release This that sophomore slump record, that life is still tough record Ain't done enough and still haven't come up record Sucker gets punched, life's calling bluffs record Just another putz gettin looks of disgust record Some sad truths that we just won't discuss record Lemme be blunt, no one listens to my cuts record Whiny emo rapper still ain't dropped his nuts record Fire's gone out, man, just let it be snuffed record Nah Its a backslap life and grab it by the scruff record Time to get rough and give the world some guff record They so shocked, what, you think I'd just combust record Some simple truths that we need to confront record Took the brunt now I'm pulling out the rut record Making gold from the dust and the rust record Yes I'm the greatest, how much longer can you front record Me and my whole crew, son, now we on the hunt record And for the record my demand hold same Picture me Dorian, this man don't age House of Lewis til they throw me in a grave Adam fucking Apt ain't a damn thing changed

One more I swear that it's the last time Oh sure. Yeah sure Every time's the last time You sore? You swore way back with a savage grin When you were living coffee cup to coffee cup to Ambien and back again You would never saddle in to average But when the panic's in I guess that's the best we're managing Never really done much living Sleep walk through the age of no fucks given But we give 'em We're victims of the tide, we're vanishing And as the water rises our lungs fill And the sirens cry out to save us still I wanna live Maybe someday And give a shit On a Sunday And keep it up, up, up, up, up yeah Keep movin' up, up, up, up, up yeah Want you to love me Maybe someday Could I be loved? Maybe one day I keep it up, up, up, up, up yeah Yeah, keep it up, up, up, up, up yeah Run Keep runnin' til they lose that scent I'm numb Can't feel my legs and now I'm losin' breath It's dumb. So dumb I'd rather choose dissent Tuck thumb Fist swingin', screamin' out like who's got next?! Could that be fools intent, I think that's what the muses meant When rules are bent with tools and sweat That's when the house starts losin' bets They say repent I say put me down as malcontent Nah, ain't blew it yet, but watch out, baby, cause the fuse is lit And as the water rises our lungs fill And the sirens cry out to save us still I wanna live Maybe someday And give a shit On a Sunday And keep it up, up, up, up, up yeah Keep movin' up, up, up, up, up yeah Want you to love me Maybe someday Could I be loved? Maybe one day I keep it up, up, up, up, up yeah Yeah, keep it up, up, up, up, up yeah Choke On the sentiment stuck down in my throat I'm cloaked In the sediment built up since I woke I try to wash it off, scrape it off, break it off Pray it's gone, I've ached so long Anything to get the vapors gone Let me plague the throngs, bear my teeth, rip through skin, taste that blood Let me tear through muscle, tendon, bone, let me dig incisors in Let me taste that marrow, let me go feral, let me divide the rib Let me steal their hearts, please, anything to get outside my skin I wanna live Maybe someday And give a shit On a Sunday And keep it up, up, up, up, up yeah Keep movin' up, up, up, up, up yeah Want you to love me Maybe someday Could I be loved? Maybe one day I keep it up, up, up, up, up yeah Yeah, keep it up, up, up, up, up yeah

Walks around the corner grabbing groceries at Allen's His headphones blasting "Trying to Find a Balance" Nose clogged, eyes water, throat full of scratches Calls into work, "I've got the plague. Don't panic." Lunch consists of sodium, chicken, broth and crackers Sleep. TV. Sleep. That's the pattern In the haze his mind turns to more serious matters He's surprised by a figure when the lamp turns So many places to be, death keeps their visits short Just stopped by to say he'd make such an exquisite corpse "That's all the visit's for? Seems like you would visit more Might i ask a question? I'd like a bigger picture of the score Why is so much of life caught in the shadows? Like you can build your own cross or you can build your gallows Escape from one fate then get caught in the shallows Is that the only path from callow to hallowed?" They rolled their eyes and sighed, "Only from an artist... I have no great knowledge, I pull the plugs regardless." He shook his head, couldn't accept the harshest Hardship doesn't guarantee catharsis Thought all along he was lit in the refiner's flame He let the dire reign cause it came from a higher plane Now come to find most of his scars won't get his sire's praise Feels like yet another pawn lost in this tired game So check mate for the day, death's left him to his devices His vice is, these knife slits, he likes it A mood to match his empty room, dark as his sight is Another sentence ending different than the way he'd write it So take that bookmark and place it in the fold A round of Nyquil shots taken to the throat Prays, "If i die tonight, my veins just close Bury me in gingham buttoned straight to the throat." Shake your chains, walk that block Call my name when the lights go off Even darker days spent laying, stayin passed out Little beam of light pushing through his windows blacked out The dust it dances in it just to romance the victim Him and his sadness quickened right to the last bout Can't even lash out, for all intents it's over Wonders if he's crazy but feels intensely sober A little closure's what he should intend to broker But he's riding in the back seat with death as his chauffeur That's what he tells himself at least while tryin to wrestle with the beast Ain't got the meddle for defeat but still he settles for repeats He needs to stand on his feet But it's angel in the inspiration, devil in the deed And speak of the devil, time for another visit fine Rolls his eyes, what's this specter gonna go and say this time "Save it if you're here to say that I should get a thicker spine" Looks in their eyes , realizes it's the finish line For a fraction of a second the whole universe is wordless It all reverses, last thing he feels is worthless "Wait, wait, wait! Please! Just do me this one service Don't carry out your purpose, I haven't even earned it" They say "It's not about deserve or earn or plans, son I'm only hear because it's clear, my dear, right now your sand's done" Metal towards the sky. Stares him in the eyes He doesn't even blink while they swing down the scythe

Accidentally killed two birds with one stone Never even realized a rock was thrown Now I'm traveling the backwards of house to home An empty shell of what once used to house the whole How’s I to know that it would crumble and fall That we would tumble in tall weeds and fumble the ball That the tongue would stall replaced by rumble and gall Of the longest last letter, the clarion call, The drone of the insect intoned from the mid-chest We’re frozen in mid-glance, the reward for our distress Don't know why we feel alone in this misstep Thought by now we'd outgrown the need to impress We’re stuck in triangles no compass can rise from It’s come to the point we can’t even let the eyes touch It’s so far, the fire’s burned right past us i just pray that these are phoenix ashes Burn it all, every scrap, every last piece I want piles of ashes to be all that you have of me How many more 'fore we can score it law of averages Never thought I'd find fire to be less damaging Break out the bandages, I left an ember for recollection Maybe stoke it back to effervescence A reconnection, a rebirth, a resurrection A regret, a mistake, a lesson A cycle spiraling down until I'm out of this town But you left first, your excerpts are all I have now And I can hear a matchbook, yeah, it's calling 'em out And I can smell the brimstone, yeah, you called it all down But, nah, there's no need to salt the earth In stalls and jerks your photo fades, the clocks reverse The talk reverts, a birthday, a Christmas Confessions made easier across long distance You're walking on by Unusual sight Reminders of fake fights and past lives The floor hit my eyes I get out, I hide And then we part ways like it's the last time We've got blind spots the shapes of our silhouettes You say it's simple steps, pirouette and pivot left I say it feels as impossible as missions get Every morning in the mirror set my eyes but vision left Why'd we ever stop drinking from that fools cup Why'd we let the wool get pulled up, rug pulled out from under Have no doubt but wonder Was it angel or devil that had fooled us? Or did we fool ourselves, a simple parlor trick Fan out the deck, pick a card, any card, you pick Convinced this magic ain't that hard to get But the misdirection happened at the start of it We're better halves now destined to be drawn and quartered Cornered, lost sight of what's important We could have been woven into golden thread But we've chosen this instead You're walking on by Unusual sight Reminders of fake fights and past lives The floor hit my eyes I get out, I hide And then we part ways like it's the last time You're walking on by Reminders of fake fights and past lives Unusual sight Reminders of fake fights and past lives The floor hit my eyes Reminders of fake fights and past lives I get out, I hide And then we part ways like it's the last time

Eyelids flip open. Nah, let 'em shut again Can't seem to recall why he should give a fuck again So down he's tumbling, can't help but be stuck within Light another candle to the alter of his suffering Aww, our poor boy. he's had it so hard He's so scarred and he thought he made it so far So what? Even he's sick of his so crushed He'd rather be sewn up and hold tough like a grown up But he holes up, lying in his mattress And rips holes up into the spots where he had patches Then thinks, "Hold up, why should i give in to the panic?" But he does. Cause what would he be if he didn't have it? Nothing, a shadow, vapor, distilled ether A collection of flesh and bones with concealed features So he'll build the fever and mill the meter Dance a dirge with death while he cheats her. he needs her So here he is again, locked inside a tomb He's mistaken his coffin for womb Talking 'bout his doom while they watch another moon wax and wane That's the same cycle, vain trifle, trapped inside a loop He plays aloof while they wait for his ascension The plain truth is that he's no more than a mention So while they're bettin' he doubles down on fog and grey And claims not every dog gets its day There's some that just stray He's leaving his lungs to decay Prepared to put his tongue in the grave He'll be dumb from this day with no reason for the speech Just a soldier who's useless at the breach, incomplete Turning to a statue from the inside out Stone in his gut and concrete in his mouth Death don't dance no more but she still stops by Swears he's seen her in the mists of the night sky He wakes up and he's literally shaking Vibrating, gets out bed, he can't shake it Ties up his laces. boots stomp out the door Two o'clock in the morn, world dead as he awakens Breathes in. Taking in the view from the roof Better get down, not sure what he'll do in this mood Kick rocks down the sidewalk, headed north Mist drops at his fore, quick blocks, ten or more Three-hundred thirty-seven paces to his Mecca Filled with landmarks dedicated to his best of And his mess ups and all the rest of The passing headlights will be transport to his next up Just three side-steps from the iris in Deserves only the vilest of ends There he goes, left, right, left Unsuspecting driver. last light quenched.

Never was one who could fight the funk So he folded up his clothes and he packed a trunk A snack, a lunch and headed for the heart of the slump Sprayed shots from his tongue at the start of the bump Bump. Boom bap, set his tooth as a trap Only fighting chance to get his youth back But the reaper she creeped, uh, gave him two smacks A believer, his fever caused him to lose track Now he's back on, blastin an attack song All these sucka jacks long for him to get slashed gone Tellin him the fashion's death. Yeah, come on, baby, pass on Meantime, it's mean time, tell him what he lacks. Wrong. Nah, no sir. Gotta delouse that All them tiny bites really hit him where the house at All dressed up like a spider in a mousetrap How's that? Onomonopea. Hear the sound? Splat. Whole things really got him losing his hope Give him just enough mic cord to noose it and choke Man and his fate part like fool and his gold And if that don't work just give him two to the throat They think he new to the ghost, I'd say he newish at most Probably phoenixed fifty times, really flew from the coal Don't give a gat damn about the rules and the roles Gonna carve that niche right through to his bones How's that? Nonsense! How's that? Nonsense! Nonsense? How's that! Play them bones Now he's on life like thirty three and one third Don't even say one word, yes I know it's absurd Know it sounds crazy, but I can say it's confirmed Lives in the shadows. Guess sonny thinks the suns's worse Bides his time, waiting for the dark to rock All in line better bring in their own spark to watch Round the block, owner better come and part the lock Whole world's here, gonna watch his heart just stop Cleeeeaaaar. And we're back with a jolt Smirked to the crowd cause he knew it was dope Reached for the secrets he had stashed in his coat Passed one piece out to all new to the fold Pleased to meet ya, come catch my fever Everybody come along and be a death cheater Learned long ago no fear for the reaper Sing my skeletons, bones my best feature How's that? Nonsense! How's that? Nonsense! Nonsense? How's that! Play them bones Now he leans right into every sickle swipe Lil strife adds a lil bop into his simple life Ignore the wax and wane of the fickle type Anyone try test sonny just flicks a knife It's simple, right? Dance with your demons Tie em at the wrist, start leaning like its beat it Don't stop swingin til it's marrow that you're seeing Dem bones dem bones dem bones all he needed

Angel with a demon face Crawled up from my shoulder blade Actin like the world's his stage Talking like his worth's at stake You hurtin now? Churned and wound Further down the words expound Earned your scowl, wanna learn to drown In the dirt and ground With a smirk and smile and a furtive growl Said he knew just how to work it out Leaned to my ear, whispered burn it down Dig in the cinders, overturn the ground Tell the heavens they're adjourned for now Bite your thumb, it don't concern them now I struck the match and felt the rush Watch the world all turn to dust I'll probably rock this crick in my neck 'til I'm dead She keeps me looking like a tweaker, my demeanor reflects It's like the weight of everything beating me, leaving me bleeding to death Regrets feeding my head 'til I'm left needing your breath to bless me Here I am! Pull me out the deep end Give me that life that I've been screaming for, yeah lead me to zen I'm getting weak in the tread I'm barely keeping the head above this water Oft we slaughter our own dreams just to live, please Let me find that way. Let me hear that truth. Let me see that light Let me be that man, the kind that can magnify the damned answers wherever the answers lie I ain't the kind to take a bribe. I ain't apt to pan handle for the afterlife My man pass the dice fast like this life's a crap game I'ma cash in or crash tonight Goddammit, Adam, this how you wanna hear Ath on a beat? Wanna go back, way back, to the days when the water ran out and we had nothing to eat? Grocery store two A.M. so no one will notice us strugglin' So no one we know would find out that we asked the cashier for a break on the old bread. Goddammit, Adam, you know there's a reason I don't rap this way 'Cause my fans gon' tell say that I'm acting dramatic and Whitney’s gonna tell me that I’m overreactin' Goddammit Adam, I try to keep it light, okay No one wanna hear about the pain in my heart when my grandma’s mind just slipped away I locked her up, apologetic, not my problem, I'm pathetic I’m a piece of shit, there I said it, ‘cause all I could think was “It’s genetic!” Goddammit Adam, compared to some I’ve been through nothin’ So I’m biding my time, prepping my mind…the deep end’s comin’ If I should die before I wake up swimming in the deep end My soul will rest in the depths of this beat when You hear it on repeat then I hope you can hear me screaming Play it on repeat and listen to me screaming You lack faith in me like a lapsed catholic So trade your sackcloth and ashes in for a laid back sabbath Relax you're like a crack addict with that chapstick take a sabbatical Spend a summer backpacking through europe Find yourself or whatever and get back to me I'm on fire like the triangle shirtwaist factory Talking, everybody's talking, everybody's spouting off the same cliche garbage Top of the morning how do you do Can I get a little more in my monitors check one Two minute warning Two blue fishes in the deep end fishing for compliments Building up each other's confidence Fist fightin demons again, Knuckles raw, bleeding skin Til the season's end I'm stuck in brawl make these heathens dead The struggle more/less is so fatal and gorgeous Take off those horns and nail that halo right onto your forehead My face is covered with blood, sweat and spit I'm gonna let 'em mix til you can't even tell which is which My face a crimson disc, my raw nerves are fairly severed Guess it's nothing long steps can't temporarily temper Out the door, right foot's the kick, left foot's the snare I'm shook and scared, I'm pushed to rare I'm gonna hoof it there on these crooked stairs Find that timeless, isolated island Close my eyelids, hold my breath and listen to the silence

I can't breathe, I cant let the words sway Things on my chest I gotta get off in the worst way Perpetual thirdie dragging through my thirties Can't save myself cause I can't find the words, see I'm rehearsing as some play at time reversing Confined to lurking I can't even excise the verses I find diversions while I slide to worthless But you can't blame a microphone it's blind to its purpose How is it they can't see that I'm voiceless This here, hah, this is a toy it's A parlor trick, all slight of hand and false ego Why would you listen to me of all people? A life that's been centered on gusts of peddling trust With a finger on the wound til the sentiments bust Yeah, had a couple milestones but never enough They say I'll find home but I'm bettin on rust It's settled then huh? Once again it just wasn't enough Mark the time by the stone that's been swelling in guts Should set fire to the last twelve pages ripped And do my best every day to stage a fit Feelin left behind can we change the pace a bit Cause I can't seem to keep up with the basic shit It's amazing this little need they feel to save him Can't live up to that vision they're arranging This is the sound of a white flag waving The sigh of a man losing his patience Just breathe, make that chest heave Repeat repeat til death divests the deed And sorry mom but your little black sheep will never bleach Guess four out five's our best reach And I'm sorry dad I swear I tried to make it feel true When you tell me that your proud of all the things that I do I'm still scraping, crawling and I beg my way through I'd give anything to be even one half of you And I'm sorry friends for all the opportunities wasted I don't mean to disappoint, I truly find you sacred Sorry God if all that I amount to is tainted Feels like ages since you left me here jaded and naked Why'd you leave me blind, let me see with your vision You gave me the words but you withheld the conviction Never felt much worth when they gave me religion All I wanted was love and not the roles and divisions They say that's what you are so why can't I perceive This may be my last prayer while I still believe So if you're there, lord, please, give me something to ease Because sometimes I just can't breathe So if you're there, lord, please, give me something to ease Because sometimes...sometimes...I just can't breathe So if you're there, lord, please, give me something to ease Because sometimes...sometimes...I just can't breathe So if you're there, lord, please, give me something to ease Because sometimes...sometimes...I just can't breathe So if you're there, lord, please, give me something to ease Because sometimes...sometimes...I just can't breathe